HER: "Sex - The Most Important Thing In Marriage"

"Sex is the most important thing in a marriage. If you think it's not, you're the spouse holding out."- Jess Steinholtz

My friend, "Jess Steinholtz" (not her real name), will be introduced in The Exquisite Pain of Waiting, book two in our Guardian Angel series. Jess, an archaeologist who lives on the east coast, has been married for decades. I love biblical archaeology, so connected with her years ago. She's brilliant, respected among her peers, and a devout Catholic. So, the vitriol below is a warning for wives who think it's non-consequential to hold out on their husbands.

Jess wanted all of you "cold-hearted wives" (her words, not mine) to actually know what it feels like when you hold out on your husband. Because while she adores her husband, she is the one more interested in sex. He loves her, but is a high-powered professional, also nationally recognized in his industry. So, he works long hours, 7 days a week.

Our phone automatically records, due to our audio editing software, so this is what she said, verbatim.

From Jess:
  1. You should know that your spouse hates you for causing him so much pain.
  2. It's as simple as that.
  3. Because it hurts that much.
  4. Because he knows you're deliberately causing him heartache.
  5. And make no mistake - it's not about "lust."
  6. Because Sex = Love.
  7. You're a liar if you say otherwise.

Why would I say, "Sex is the most important thing in a marriage?"



Tell your husband you're tired....
He knows the truth - that you didn't care enough to save some energy for the one you claim to love the most.

Tell him you're tired....
He knows WHO DOES ALL THE WORK IN THE SEX ACT, that you don't have to do anything but just lie there anyhow, so that's a big fat lie.

Sex = Love.

Too tired for love?!

That's bullsh-t.

And you know it!

Because you give all your freakin' love to every single other thing under the sun, your stupid iPhone, facebook, all the pictures your friends post, going to the gym, getting a mani-pedi, taking the kids to soccer, getting the dog groomed.

Til death do us part.

You'd better know he's praying that's soon.

It hurts that bad.

Oh, he may be a good guy and stay, and just busy himself with sports or work. He's faithful, so has resigned himself to a lifetime of misery.
If you're a real B he'll probably leave and find someone else.

But just know this. He hates you with every fiber of his being, and if he's a believer, he even prays that God would somehow separate you two, however that means.

It hurts that much.

But you're a cold-hearted snake who just looks down on him for being "needy," or "horny."
And you're a total idiot because you think that's what it's about for those of us who want "the expression of love in marriage" more (as book one defines sex). You freakin' loser, it's about LOVE. "The expression of love in marriage."


Hence, WHY it is the most important thing in a marriage. But you're too "spiritual" to have a heart and care.

So, just know that no matter how much they say, "I love you," and mean it, your spouse is torn, because he also hates you with every fiber of his being for how much you hurt him for denying him love. That's what you're doing. You and I both know it. And that's why you're so uncomfortable with this Guardian Angel series. Repent and rend your heart to your husband and to your God. And do it every day, again and again, until you're worthy of the unfailing love he gives YOU, you cold-hearted B!

Yes, it hurts THAT BAD when you deny your husband. He's probably a good guy who suffers predominantly in silence. But don't you EVER question why he doesn't "talk" to you more like he used to, or want to go on your stupid outings more. Because you absolutely break his heart every day of your life while smile and tell him you love him. But we know better. You'll have to stand before Jesus one day and tell him how you broke that good man's heart, repeatedly, the good man He gave you.
I wouldn't want to be you.


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